I want to speak these words to you,
But they crash against my tongue.
They come out fragmented phrases
Incoherent to anyone.
Maybe someday it’ll be easier,
But right now it’s for the best
That I keep these constant thoughts of you
And this frantic beating in my chest.
This desperate struggle to restrain
Is wearing me deep and thin.
As I spiral in the darkness
In a dazing, heavy spin.
Every syllable, every sound
Violently colliding in my brain
I consume this liquid courage
As I shed this shell of shame.
Every moment, every breath of you
Shaking down my withered soul.
And the tears that longed to be released
Slowly start to roll.
I was ashamed to say I loved you
I was afraid you’d never show
This sad excuse of an existence
The slightest glimmer of any hope.
Now this light I try to show you
Is a fading shade of grey
I kept it from you far too long
Cause I was too afraid to say…
“I want to speak these words to you.
I want you to hear me loud and clear.
All this pain, sadness, suffering
Was worth every second if you were near.”